KAP Instructor Paul Densmore with another practical video on “what to do when…”, this one focused on lust/ sexual desire as it arises in practice, as it effects practice, ways to harness it in self-development and altruistic spiritual practice while enjoying rather than repressing.
Okay, hopefully it works this time.
So, I thought I had gotten everything about lust out last time during the anger video, but then it was requested I do a video on lust. So, that’s this right here.
As I said last time, lust should not be a problem. There’s sort of this mistranslation of what lust really is, and we’ll get into that in just a minute. But two problems really tend to arise — and I’ll probably be looking at my notes a lot during this one because I wrote a lot down — and that’s sort of a mistranslation that you have to be celibate in order to be spiritual.
Or that you have to “save your seed” for cultivation purposes if it’s just Qigong and whatnot, and trying to “kill the rooster.” And all the KAP instructors have tried to dispel this notion over and over again. And yet it keeps rearing it’s head.
Number one: what’s more important, or more pleasurable, or enjoyable? Sex [or] breaking bricks?
Sex? Breaking bricks?
Surprise. I’ll take sex any day of the week.
But if you’re going into Kundalini or higher cultivation practices with this idea of rejecting some part of you: lust is a part of you. It’s a part of life. Desire. Passion. You know. But if you’re rejecting all of this, and you’re going into higher cultivation practices, you’re going to have a bad time.
So, balance, incorporating, incorporating the shadow and all of these things that we tend to reject. Again, go back to the anger video. Again, same thing. So, I would much rather incorporate these things and have methods and techniques that we’ll get into now for incorporating this [rather] than rejecting it.
And then the second problem is that lust does tend to get expressed in these sort of negative ways, and fetishes, and kinks, and what have you. And there are ways of dealing with that, and we will get into those as well.
First thing, let’s get into what lust really is. Think of Reich and Orgone. Think of Freud and libido. Think of Kundalini itself. Lust. Desire. These are this primordial energy that in itself is neither good nor bad, you know. But when it gets translated into these poor channels through “kinks,” actual — think of it as an actual kink in a hose.
That terminology is apt. And hangups. That’s another one. Hangups and kinks. Again, the terminology is spot on here. It’s these kinks in a hose.
So again you can go back to that Avatar explanation of the water flowing through the chakras and everything. It’s the same thing. So it gets translated into these poor channels, and a lot of this comes from, like, the actual rejection of it moreso than anything else. You know: negative views on sexuality, guilt, etc.
Let me see here. So, with that being said, let’s get into actual ways of incorporating this. So we’re not really going to deal with the first: if you have this mistranslation and this idea that, you know, sexuality is bad for my cultivation practices, and you know over short term if you really want to break bricks then you know fucking break the bricks. But long term you’ve got to incorporate that into yourself. So, we’re going to deal with the second part.
Number one — and hopefully these will be really quick — get into corpse pose. Laying on the ground, hands out to the side, palms up, legs splayed, tuck the chin, keep the spine long, then imagine that you are floating on top of an ocean. Okay, do this and relax into it.
So actually try to really get into the visualization so that you can actually you know maybe feel a fish brush up against your back, or imagine life teeming out the waves going. Life teeming under the surface. The sky above you. Everything. Seagulls crying in the distance. Make it so vivid so that you get into the oceanic experience which is this — there’s no separation between that and this, you know. Inside and outside.
It all goes together. It is the ocean. The oceanic experience is the ocean, you know. The fish, the plants, and everything. The flora, the fauna. Everything under the surface is part of the ocean as well. As well as the waves. And then you can get into ocean meets sky, and where, you know, ocean meets land. Where does it really end, where does it really connect, etc. etc.
So that’s a good one for that.
There’s an affirmation that you can use for your sacral chakra, for your water chakra, and so put your awareness into the chakra itself, and allow this affirmation to bring up the feelings of the affirmation moreso than the words. And its: “I am free, you are free, we can be on different trips, or we can be on the same trips.” And you can translate that however you want.
I take this one from Tim Leary and Robert Anton Wilson came up with that one, and I tend to use their affirmations and so that one works very well. So it’s being free, allowing others to be free, allowing them to have their trips, you know, their things, doing things their way, and you do things your way, okay?
And so this really kind of begins to widen the bubble, especially those first two (the corpse pose and this) so that you’re not — ‘cause a lot of those negative things come from pain and then the pain reacting — you know, pain especially from relationships and things, or maybe negative sexuality things that we get from our parents or teachers or what have you, and then it gets translated into creepy things like trying to control other people and etc. And actually that was my next thought. I tend to go on these tangents and then I actually wrote that down. Incels: involuntary celibates, you know, trying to control self and others.
So again, and that goes back to that first thing that we were talking about. If you’re coming into higher cultivation practices, and more energy, and you’re trying to reject those parts of yourselves and control yourself, you know, it’s not going to be a very pleasant experience for you. And again, journaling helps. Same thing I said in the anger video: morning pages.
First thing in the morning. Just clear out the monkey mind and just start writing.
So-called porn addiction which isn’t really a real thing but I mean anything can be addictive, and it really comes down to will-power. So strengthening willpower. Now, I said don’t reject things, but at the same time the thing I’m going to say here is kind of counter-indicative.
If you really feel like you have sort of a porn addiction, find a way, boost your willpower, start in small little ways, maybe find little tics that you do throughout the day and don’t do those things, concentrate on those things and build up your willpower to the point where you can go 30 days without watching, reading any sort of porn. Okay?
Imagination is okay, you know, imagination is a-okay. That will actually help strengthen your interpersonal relationships if you can have those imaginations. And you’ll actually find, once you get away from the porn, that your imagination kind of cleans up so that you’re not having these kinks and fetishes anymore, but you’re actually trying to have a real relationship, you know, in your mind, which translates into a real relationship in life.
So, yeah, energy attempting to rise — so again, lust, desire, Kundalini, Orgone, etc. — and getting hung up in these kinks. So, the last one: if you just can’t get away from having some sort of kink, fetish, and you have to masturbate (let’s get graphic for a second), do it, without guilt.
Because the guilt is just going to form a sort of Mobius feedback loop where the guilt is getting into the kink, and then the kink gets stronger and then feeds into the guilt, and then boom boom boom boom boom they both get stronger and stronger and stronger and build on top of each other.
Engage in it, in the activity — and this goes beyond just kinks and shame. This is anything that [is a] bad habit that you want to get rid of. Engage in it without guilt and without shame. Try to open up this external feeling of forgiveness from a higher power or the universe or whatever, you know, that the universe doesn’t care about this little thing. It’s — you’re a-okay.
And so actually open that up while you’re doing it. And then open up this internal feeling of forgiveness that you can forgive yourself, that it’s okay, you know, it’s just a little thing. As long as you’re not hurting anyone else, you know, do your thing. Then it’s not that big of a deal.
And then, so if you can have that external forgiveness, and that internal forgiveness, and then you can engage in it, and then, especially if it’s masturbation, and then you have the orgasm, and then: open up this feeling of self-love. Go back to the little EFT mantra “I love and accept myself.”
Can you love and accept yourself while engaging in this? And sure enough you will find that whatever sort of negative hangup you have begins to, you know, open up and then go away. Once it becomes not a big deal.
The more you make it a big deal, the stronger it’s going to get and the more — the bigger it will become.
All right, so again, these are short little videos. Hope that helps. I will talk to you again next week. Thank you very much.
— Transcription by Spencer Stevens
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